Life changes

I was just sitting here thinking how much life and the world around me has changed since high school. Things that used to be important then are totally not what I find important now. Friends I thought I'd have for life are now memories or acquaintances or still friends but not nearly as close as I thought we'd be. I find myself more and more saying "wow, mom and dad were right!" (please don't rub that in too much mom).

High school wasn't a blast for me. The things I found important then just seems so silly and immature to me now. I was very sheltered (as most people in Loveland are) and self involved. By the end I was excited to be heading into a theatre program at NKU, and later a dance program at Wright State. But that's all I knew. I had no other interests. In other words, everyone told me, especially my parents, that I need to have something to fall back on. I never really made myself get interested in anything else, and I should have. When I wasn't in school (I was never a really big fan of school) I was in dance classes, or rehearsing for the spring musical, or doing choir concerts. See a trend? I was never very academic haha. Little did I know at the time, I should have listened to that whole having something to fall back on thing. But I was almost out of high school. Of course I was smarter than my parents then, duh!

But everything happens for a reason. If anything would have happened any differently, I may never have met Tim or ended up living back in Cincinnati again. Who knows where I'd be otherwise. And if I didn't have to have that knee surgery, I may still be who knows where trying to make it as a dancer in that harsh performing arts world struggling to make ends meat (although this extra poundage I've gained since then I could have done without). Sometimes I think of that knee surgery as a blessing. Looking back, I definitely wasn't ready for that world I was heading into. In my heart, I know I wasn't ready. But at times I still miss it, which I think I always will. It was all I knew. And now I can just do it for fun without the pressure of having to "make it"!!!

Now the things I find important are definitely different. And time seems to go by a lot faster now than I remember when I was younger. The little things in life make me the happiest. Family things make me happy. My life with Tim and our future possibilities make me happy. Back then I thought only old people watched the News. Nothing on the news could ever be more important than Beverly Hills 90210 or Dawsons Creek or watching Titanic over and over again haha. And now we watch the news all the time! The fact that we've talked about having kids in the next year or two and having an awesome home together is far different than where I was 6 years ago. 6 years ago I didn't think I would ever have time to have kids or even meet someone and get married because of the life I was headed for...you know, that whole struggling artist thing. haha.

Everything worked out for the best. And Tim has a similar story. Both of our stories brought us together. Life is funny, and awesome, and always changing. And everything you do today decides how tomorrow will play out. It's a very complex thought...too complex for me to continue to think about at midnight. :P

I have no idea why I wrote this. Tim's away, I'm lonely and bored, and my mind started churning. Maybe I can get Tim to write in here one of these days. lol.

xoxo,
kristen